Autobahn Track Management: Note to Tom, Kevin,& Jim

[Mike Tribble]

My Dear Juan (may I call you Juan?),

Thank you so very much for your heartfelt sympathies. It means a lot coming from the man that introduced my family to Uranus. As you rightly surmised the Yankee Stadium venue IS fully occupied with immediate family. However there will be the overflow site at The Meadowlands for invited guests and locally residing Nieces and Nephews. I can make arrangements for you to attend at that site if desired. We will utilize the JumboTron so you shouldn't miss any of the services. As we Tribbles are an emotional lot I would encourage you to wear rain gear and bring a lint brush.

As an aside, may I suggest you invest in the latest version of Rosetta Stone language courses. It would seem to me that the North American head of public relations for Uranus Intergalactic Ltd should be able to communicate in the native tongue of his audience. Don't get me wrong, I applaud your rise in UIL from your days in Calcutta to the offices you now occupy on the upper West Side. You have really "Moved on Up" in the world and I would hate to see you run into that Lexan ceiling that so many foreigners seem to hit. You also seem slightly confused as to just who exactly you work for. You DO know the name of your employer don't you? The powers that be at Uranus Intergalactic Ltd would be less than pleased at hearing it referred to as simply urinal. I'm just trying to protect you from the wrath of Mr. Cinnamon who I have heard can be quite abrasive in his dealings with underlings.

Again, thank you for your kind remarks and if you would like to attend the service just let me know and I will arrange transportation in one of our limmos

With warmest regards,
James L Tribble MMCCIVC
Tribble Racing Group

Bcc Tom Cinnamon UIL

[Ron_Schuermann]

Roflmao!!!!!!!!

[Mike Tribble]

March 7th, 2008
Uranus Intergalactic Ltd
Mr. Jaun Long Poo.

Dear Mr Poo,

I cannot express how disappointed I am at not hearing from you about making arrangements for you to attend my Great Great Great Great Grandfathers funeral. I thought I made it perfectly clear that you would be a welcome and valued guest albeit NOT at the main family only venue. I thought you would have at least had the courtesy to decline the offer if you couldn't attend. I kept a limo reserved for your use and thereby denied thousands of relatives comfortable transportation to the services. Again I cannot express my deep disappointment at your lack of common courtesy.

It will be a cold day in hades before TRG issues ANY further orders to UIL and I plan on making it my personal quest to see that as many of your existing customers as I can personally contact understand your true nature and hopefully will withdraw their orders also. There is an old adage that goes " Don't tread on a Tribble". You sir are about to understand why.

Belligerently,
James L Tribble MMCCIVC

[Mike Tribble]

March 9th, 2008
Flying Lizard Motorsports
Mr. Rich Lee

Dear Mr. Lee,

It has come to my attention that your organization is a customer of Uranus Intergalactic Ltd. I feel I must inform you of a situation with UIL that has recently soured my relationship with them and will certainly impact the way you view the relationship also.

TRG had been a long time customer of UIL, in fact we were their number one customer. We placed prodigious orders for UIL paper products in an effort to stay ahead of the exponential expansion in our staff. UIL had always been willing and usually able to supply our needs. Then we made a change in the way we approached our sanitation situation and no longer required UIL products. We actually canceled our last order with UIL and therein lies the genesis of the current problem.

UIL has taken it upon itself to besmirch the good name of TRG accusing us of placing counterfeit UIL products at different venues we utilize with our race team. We wrote to their then public relations manager decrying any involvement in the sorted scheme. We actually received correspondence from UIL apologizing for the incident. UIL said the public relations manager Mr. Ci My Dung had been summarily dismissed and the matter was closed. Or so we thought.

Concurrently with all this we at TRG suffered the death of a long time family member and head of TRG procurement Mr James L Tribble MMCCDXXXVII. Big Daddy, as those of us close to him were fond of calling him, had established a relationship with one Mr. Juan Long Poo of Singapore / Calcutta who eventually found himself employed by UIL. Mr. Poo and I had some correspondence since he had replaced the infamous Mr. Dung in the public relations position. You know, now that I reflect on it, replacing Dung with Poo seems a little redundant doesn't it? Anyway, back to my reason for writing you. Mr Poo was the person ( I almost said Gentleman there but that would be according Mr. Poo a title he clearly doesn't deserve) that introduced Big Daddy to Uranus products initially. He seemed to be genuinely grieved at Big Daddy's passing or so I thought. I made it a special point to make arrangements to include Poo in the final services in honor of Big Daddy. He chose to ignore my invitation and furthermore made no attempt to notify me of his decision AFTER I made transportation changes that affected thousands of my closest relatives. You can imagine my angst. If Poo is the kind of person that holds high office at UIL you have to ask yourself is this the kind of company I want to be dealing with.

Therefore, I encourage you to also seek an alternate supplier to UIL paper products. You'll be happy you did.

If I can be of any service to you in any fashion please don't hesitate to ask.

Sincerely,

James L Tribble MMCCIVC
Senior Procurement Officer
Tribble Racing Group

[Tom Cinnamon]

From the New York Times dated March 10 2008

FBI SNIFFS OUT POO
Dung At Home In Uranus

In an elaborate sting operation within Uranus culminating in the early hours of March 7th, FBI agents delivered Jaun Longue Poo, an employee of Uranus Intergalactic to Federal Authorities today. Poo is charged with several counts of copyright infringements, money laundering and smuggling.

Recently reinstated spokesperson for Uranus, Ms Ci My Dung spoke with Times reporters. I was proud to be a part of the operation that brought him to the United States and now that the FBI has Poo in their hands I can resume my position within Uranus. We needed a way to get him into the country because extraditing Poo from Indonesia would have been a painful process for the Justice Department. Upper management was instumental in facilitating his move to our shores by promoting him into a stateside management role.

This reporter also attempted to interview Uranus principal Tom Cinnamon who is currently practicing for an ILMS series race at Mid Ohio. I Really don't know much about Poo, except when the wife hands me a bag and tells me to walk the dog. Racing is what I do, the other Uranus companies pretty much run themselves. If it ain't got wheels, I ain't interested. I heard he was rippin Uranus off, copyin are stuff, eh? That's all I got. In fact if you want more I think the Tribbles know more than I do. They are pretty close to Poo from what I can see.


FBI officials also stated that investigations are ongoing into Poo's relationships that go back many years and that the city of Calcutta appears to be a central focus of the investigations.

[Mike Tribble]

Birmingham News
March 1, 2009
Tribble Breaks Silence

Mike Tribble, CFO for the Tribble Racing Group today broke his nearly year long silence regarding the infamous Poo/Dung debacle and Uranus Intergalactic Limited. Tribble revealed that his company was clandestinely involved in the elaborate ruse that culminated in the snagging of Poo. Tribble revealed that he and Tom Cinnamon, Principal of UIL, were secretly in accord in the process to lure Poo out into the open. It seems both men knew that something just didn't smell right when it came to Poo. So they decided to cooperate in the expulsion of Poo from Uranus.

Tribble went on to say the reason for the long silence was that one of Tribble's distant relatives was sequestered in the witness protection program. He felt it in his kin's best interest to remain silent until after Poo's conviction and sentencing. But now that Poo has been convicted and extradited back to Singapore to serve his sentence it was safe to speak out. Tribble said he was grateful to be part of the process that brought this foul and putrid individual to justice. "The winds of change are blowing and it it is such a relief to break them open for the world to see" stated Tribble.

On a related matter Tribble also announced a closer cooperation between TRG and UIL in the Champion Motorsports ILMS racing series. It seems that Tribble will join Uranus Racing as one of the team drivers and will participate in both the CMS GT Challenge series and the Racecraft Collectibles Series. He will drive the Team Uranus GT2 Ferrari F430 # 02 and the Team Uranus LMP2 Dome #02 in the RCC series. Tribble stated "I am very happy to be joining the Uranus racing team and will do my best to make a positive contribution to the team's success."